Screw Him, I’ll Do It Myself

Continued from here

THAT is a bouquet of flowers.

Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about. You send me that, you’re going to have a great night. I’ll get on my hands and knees and scrub the floors awwwwll night long.

THAT'S even better.

(I’ll be honest, this is way more up my alley. Still, that top one does NOT suck.)

Wanna know how to get a guy to send you flowers?  Apparently, it’s to post naked pictures of yourself in hothot boots.  I highly recommend it.  This PR dude emailed me and asked when they last time my husband sent me flowers.  And I was all, “You totally want my number, don’t you?  Are you trying to ask me out? DID YOU SEE THE CROCS PICTURE?”  And he was all, “Nonono!”  And I was all, “SURE.”

Gigglegiggle.  Well, Mr PR Dude, it’s actually kind of been a while.  Like, for the length of our entire marriage while.  So yeah, I took him up on his offer, and hopped on that website, and found some freaking beautiful flowers I would love to have delivered to my door.  I mean, I have never ONCE had flowers delivered to my house.  It sounds like a great thing to have happen to you at least once.

So, yeah, I dug through that website, found a few bouquets I really liked, showed them to my kids, let them pick one because I can’t make a decision to save my ass, and today a nice person in a uniform is going to ring a doorbell and deliver this:

Happy Birthday, Mom.

To. My. Mother In Law.  It’s her freaking birthday for Christ’s sake; how could I NOT send her really nice flowers?  Anyone who ever tells me I am a selfish, bad daughter in law can shove it, because I just handed that woman the one chance I’m ever going to have of getting flowers delivered to ME.

Flora2000.com is the website, and the nicest thing is, they ship anywhere.  Well, to 150 countries, but still.  They offer same day delivery and they don’t charge your card until after they deliver the flowers.  Rumour has it, my mother in law will be getting a phone call after she gets her bouquet to make sure she likes it, and if she doesn’t, they’ll refund it or replace it, whichever she chooses. And the website is super easy to use.  Each bouquet has a description of every flower they put in it.

They have a lot of product, but it’s not all crammed down your throat.  Example: I spent about three days on that site trying to talk myself out of sending the flowers to someone else, eventually caved, ordered some for my mother in law, and at the very end of the order, they popped up a screen with chocolate on it and asked if I’d like to add some to my order.  Um, I spent THREE DAYS on that site and didn’t see chocolates.  I like that, that it’s not all pushy with extras.  AND they actually saved the information from my order and will email me next year to remind me to send her flowers again.  (Which I won’t.  Because she’s not my mother.)  And they haven’t spammed me once since I signed up.

Now, if you’re still here, I have two $50 gift cards from Flora2000.com to give away.  Here’s how to enter:

  • Write in the comments, or on your own site, either way, about why you REALLY need to send yourself some fucking flowers already.  (Read: make your husband as mad at you as I just did mine)
  • Or tell about the most selfless thing you’ve done ever for your mother in law who, up until two months ago, you hated more than you hate Brussels Sprouts.
  • Or you can be all, “Dude, Mr Lady, it would be totally awesome if you sent me flowers at work with a really saucy note attached, because all my co-workers would totally think you were a guy, and that dude I’ve been trying to get to ask me out but who thinks he has all the time in the world would suddenly think he’s got some competition and he’d ask me out and we’d get married and name our first kid Shannon after you whether or not is was a boy or a girl because it’s an excellent name, yo.”  And then I would use your gift card to send you flowers with a saucy card attached, and all would be right in the world.

I’m not counting on a hell of a lot of #3 entries, just saying.  Shall we say Monday for the deadline, so you can use the card for Thanksgiving if you choose?  Cool, Monday it is.

51 Comments

Filed under Reviews

51 responses to “Screw Him, I’ll Do It Myself

  1. Pingback: Flowers From My Husband; A Melodrama in Two Parts

  2. The most selfless thing I’ve ever done for my mother in law was to get her daughter knocked-up. I mean really knocked-right-up. Selfless indeed. Afterall, what mother-in-law wouldn’t want to become a grandmother?

  3. Dude. as much as i’d love to get flowers because i don’t ever get flowers from my freaking husband like *evar*, if i won the gift card, I’d actually send YOU flowers. And no, I’m not trying to suck up, but it’d make you happy and prolly bug the Donor, which would be fun. :D

  4. I will go for number 3.

    But I ain’t having no more babies so I will name my work mouse after you. Caressing it all the time going ‘ooooh come ON Mr Lady!’

  5. Hey, I can choose number 1 or 3!

    1 because, Ummm, my last husband didn’t believe in displays of affection toward me and I think he brought home a single rose on Valentine’s day. Once. Oh, wait, I’ve got to give him SOME credit, he bought a dozen roses when our son was born. But, it’s been like, FIVE years since I’ve received any flowers whatsoever. Plus, they’d look so pretty in my new place.

    2 because HA! Wouldn’t that be fun to watch my coworkers guess!

  6. 1 – I need to send myself flowers because I never get flowers. On graduation day they gave roses to all of the girls, but I’m a boy and didn’t get any. For my shared-with-my-wife-Birthday every year, people send her flowers (including me) but I never have any sent to me. Oh, and I’m celebrating a birthday next month with a Zero in it, and it’s her birthday too, so I would split my arrangement with her, since she doesn’t for me. :o)

    2 – I try to not be nice to my MIL, but she’s just too good at being nice to me. The most selfless thing I’ve done for her recently is agreed to spend next Easter in Casper-freaking-Wyoming where it will be 20 below zero and windy as hell. With a toddler.

    3 – I work for a church, so a saucy note might even get me fired! Double bonus for all involved! (just kidding)

  7. Kel

    ooh flowers – I love the piss off the hubby thing, can’t really say I’d want to do that cuz then my ‘on sale right before they die’ batch of flowers from walmart would probably cease to show up on those random occasions he goes to walmart.

    As for MIL – ha, I think I piss her off just by being alive (or failing to return her phone calls or telling her son the crazy shit she says about him) the list could go on

    So do I need flowers…um guess that depends on your definition, but do I want flowers…um – hell yes!
    ~K

  8. Mom in MN

    We had our 10 year anniversary this past June. I got flowers. Too bad we weren’t speaking to each other at the time so I didn’t even care that he bought me flowers. He just did it so he wouldn’t have to deal with me bitching about how inconsiderate/lazy he is. (So that totally does not count.)

  9. Dude, Mr Lady, it would be totally awesome if you sent me flowers at work with a really saucy note attached, because all my co-workers would totally think you were a guy, and that dude I’ve been trying to get to ask me out but who thinks he has all the time in the world would suddenly think he’s got some competition and he’d ask me out and we’d get married and name our first kid Shannon after you whether or not is was a boy or a girl because it’s an excellent name, yo.” And then I would use your gift card to send you flowers with a saucy card attached, and all would be right in the world.

    Seriously, that would rock!

  10. MB

    dude, i just got dumped for acting like a teenage boy. seriously…she said, “i want to date a 40 year old woman, not a teenage boy.” WTF. I totally deserve flowers for putting up with such a MATURE person for six months.

  11. When my husband and I were first together, he had a beautiful arrangement of flowers delivered to my house every day for a week. It was incredible. I now understand he did it so that he wouldn’t have to really buy me flowers for the next eight years. Damn disappointing realty.

    My mother-in-law died long before I met my husband. On the bright side, we never fight.

  12. Left a message at your blog too, but my husband never, ever buys me flowers. EVER! He tried to be practical by buying me a plant once, but I suck at plants and it died.

  13. I need to send myself some because I HAVE NO MAN. *lol*

  14. Kim

    I will send them to my kids.. because they have never gotten flowers before and for some reason it just popped in my head that they would totally love it for a second.. and then after it wore off I would have totally beautiful flowers for myself.. :)

    And you said giggle giggle.. swoon.. I did a little shout out to you with that today..

  15. natasha

    Last year at about this time, my mother in law was having a hard time with life in general. my husband asked her what would make her happy and she said I could really go for some watermelon. (Not so much in season this time of year) I looked online and sure enough within 5-7 business days she had herself a damn fine organic watermelon from who knows where. It was a very fun and creative way to put a smile on her face. She will never forget it.

  16. Kris B.

    I need flowers, please. Last week I went to Portland, Oregon to visit my sister for my 40th birthday. I got stuck sitting next to a woman who I KNOW hacked up a lung and blew out enough snot to lube your car. I had to bake my own birthday cake, cook MY birthday dinner to feed 8 people, clean up dog pee during dinner because dad forgot to take HIS dog outside before he sat down and I was the only one who hadn’t filled her plate yet. Then I had to help wash the dishes. My flights home were delayed so I spent several miserable hours in airports totally unable to breathe through my nose because aforementioned plague woman kindly gave me her crud. Upon my return to work (still sick and REALLY needing to sleep 18 hours a day) all hell broke loose in terms of deadlines. My husband let our two male dogs (who dislike each other) out in the yard unsupervised, fight ensued, and $450 later I have an 85 pound greyhound oozing “wound site drainage” all over my sofa. The other greyhound (95 pounds, thank you very much) kicked Hubby in the family jewels on the very night that the time is right for baby-making. Then my car battery died. I’m still sick, hubby is sick, the house is a wreck, I’m STILL not pregnant, AND I turned 40. If ever a flower pick-me-up were needed around the Castle, it would be now.

  17. My 4 year anniversary is this Saturday. There are no reservations made, no flowers ordered. And most of all NO FUCKING ENGAGEMENT RING that I want so badly I think my face will fall off. When I asked what we were doing this weekend, he says “Nothing, I’m going to work around the house”. I say “what about Saturday” and he says “What’s Saturday?”. I bought an adorable skirt, planned on curling my hair and was even going to shave my legs ABOVE the knee. So I’m begging you, help a girl out and send some love my way because this girl is going to be un-sexing for the unforeseeable future!

  18. Mr. Lady, Mr. Lady, I know you know what is going on, and I know that you will understand when I tell you I just-like, mere minutes ago, literally-found out that he has a history-a HISTORY!!!!!-and that they picked him up. and i know that you know that my baby girl and I both need some flowers because the other dude? The one I love? Too.Drunk.today.to even bother picking up the phone. I might be a suicide risk. Not really, but I need some flowers.

  19. I need flowers because within the last year and a week, I turned 40 and then 41 and also celebrated a Mother’s Day and my 10-year-anniversary and guess what? NO FRIGGIN’ FLOWERS! Not one of the above-mentioned amazing milestones in my life warranted flowers from my dude! So I am praying I win these flowers because I DO want to send them to myself from myself….and just kinda hang out and stare at them all day.

  20. The most selfless thing I have ever done for my MIL is not shoving her face into her dinner plate every time we go out to eat. She smacks and talks with food in her mouth and I have to take a Vicodin before we go out to eat with the outlaws because IT. MAKES. ME. WANT. TO. KILL. MYSLEF.

  21. Shananafish

    Reasons why I need a bouquet of flowers:
    1. The only flowers that have ever arrived at my door were from my parents for my first wedding anniversary. They were potted tropical bromilliads who died quickly in the cold Seattle gloom (ironic, yes). My hubs has brought me home flowers all of about twice in the six years we’ve been together, he even gripes when I bring home flowers for myself from the farmers market (“what a waste of money!” “they were five bucks!” “but they are just going to die” “well, so are you, but I’m willing to invest.” *burn*)
    2. The most selfless thing I’ve ever done for my mother-in-law was spend eight days held captive at Disneyworld in mid-July while enduring the worst morning sickness known to womankind. This was a “lets bring the step-families together” kind of trip, so it was awkward all around. Not only was it hot-like-the-swamps-of-hell, we were all expected to keep on her daily schedule of two theme parks a day, from 8am-midnight, with each ride, meal and “rest time” planned out to the minute. At 12 weeks I could not go on any rides, I have a deep aversion to all things Disney, and I spent an incredible number of hours puking silently into empty frozen lemonade cups. The last night we were there, I got violently sick in the hotel suite, and she commented to my husband “At least she hasn’t been sick the whole trip, I would have felt awful!” Ha.
    3. If I were sent a bouquet of flowers at work, I would leave it up to Mr. Lady to address the card. Note that my baby is due in less than two months and my conception date according to my midwife occurred while I was on a business trip to NYC. I’ve never been unfaithful and I’ll leave it at that.

  22. Maggie

    Boyfriend brought me flowers when I was in the hospital for three days a year ago. I made a HUGE deal about how pretty they were and how thoughtful it was and how I just loooooooved getting them from him.

    But have I seen a bouquet since? Birthday? Valentine’s day? Nope (but I DID get taken out to a *very* nice sushi restaurant for V-day, and he DID buy me an LCD TV that I didn’t even ask for for my birthday…buuuuut, a girl needs some flowers from time to time!!). Then a couple weeks ago he forgot we were supposed to have dinner one night, and long story short I sooooo thought I was going to get flowers out of THAT one–and then he remembered and insisted I go with him to the “alternative” plans he had made when he forgot AND had me bring my best friend along and he paid for dinner. Damn. Thanks for dinner, but I really just wanted the flowers, dude…

    Aaaaand, I’m now getting the feeling that I’m being glared at by all your lovely readers, and maybe I should just shut the hell up already because even without sending me flowers, my boyfriend is pretty freaking amazing…ok I’m done.

  23. I need flowers to send to myself because it was my birthday last Friday and my husband decided it would be better to go to a party, get drunk and spend the night there instead of spending time with me after I got out of work. I’d share them with my 14 year-old daughter, who got to babysit The Shriek Sisters for the 6 hours it took for him to show up on Saturday. Oy.

    I need flowers to send to myself because I can’t remember the last time I got flowers from anyone, let alone from my husband.

    My MIL lives in British Columbia, so I rarely see her, but the most selfless thing I did was to marry her son and take his selfish, thoughtless ass off her hands.

    And while I’d love to get flowers from you, I can’t receive them at work. But if you want to send them to my house, complete with a steamy card, I’d be thrilled to bits. Because it would piss off my husband, thus making this exercise a complete circle.

  24. 1. My husband HAS sent me flowers before. And it sounds all nice and shit, unti you find out that during the time that the flowers were sent, his sister was a florist, so A) it was easier than thinking of anything else, B) at a huge discount, and C) I never, ever got the kind of flowers I liked, only what she liked, which I hated, since we are polar opposites.

    2. My MIL died before we were married. I used to spend time with her a lot, since my husband and his siters all worked evenings. She needed a lot of care and I never minded helping (bathroom, etc), so it wasn’t really selfless because I loved her.

    3. My coworker gets flowers all the time and it makes me barf a little.

  25. OK my MIL is rude. And a crackhead. OK so no’s she not but she’s on all kinds of meds and doesn’t hink before she speaks. I mean when I got married she said I needed to get on birth control cuz I did NOT need a baby. And oh have you gained weight? Yes I have retard thanks for pointing it out.

    Anyway she broke her leg earlier this year and couldn’t get around. So since I was the only person home early in the mornings, I had to help her use a bedpan. ( I live next door. Yea tha’s some scary shit!)

    What is more selfless than helping her piss after she called me a fat ass sucky mother? Nothing I tell ya!

  26. i got rejections from two — count them, TWO — vocal auditions that i did.

    both rejections? THIS WEEK. so my week is sucking giant donkey balls and i feel completely talentless and useless and like i will never succeed at anything and nobody loves me and i think i’ll eat some worms.

    so flowers? woot.

  27. I’ve told my husband several times not to get me flowers, with a cute little smile that clearly says I don’t really mean what I’m saying, that I’m actually hint-hint-nudge-nudging him. Unfortunately, he doesn’t seem to understand the language of cute little smiles.

    For my last birthday? My husband bought me a refrigerator. Nuff said, I think. But I’ll add that last Valentine’s Day, he got me a pair of red teddy lingerie. He actually thought it was for ME, that I’d enjoy showing him how big my butt is outside of my typical Fruit of the Looms. I tried the teddy on in private, looked in the mirror and shrieked. (Then cried.)

    He’s a great guy in many ways, a wonderful husband, but about as romantic as the scum in the bottom of the vegetable drawer of the fridge he replaced…

  28. Ok, so I win the “awesome thing I did for my MIL” prize! I had a freaking BABY ON. HER. BIRTHDAY. That’s right. I gave her a grandkid on her birthday. I could have held out for 4 more days and gave my OWN mother a grandkid on her birthday, but nope, I did it on MIL’s birthday.

    I win.

    So there.

  29. I have a friend who needs a lot of love and attention and freakin’ ridiculous gifts that she would not normally receive. In fact, I believe we share the friend. And I think L.D. could definitely use some delivered flowers right now (with a side of smokes and a bottle of wine, probably). What say you?

  30. Christina

    You.Crack.Me.Up.

    I was undecided on my choice, so I will give reasons on all three :)

    *1 I never get flowers at all. ever. the last time my husband got me flowers, it was cause I harped about it. the next day he went to home depot to pick something up & brought a bouquet, I was really happy… but did I really need to beg? I even hinted that my new office has room for flowers – hint hint fool.
    *2 most selfless thing for MIL. Let’s put it like this, she is friends with the EX wife, she paid for the divorce, I am treated like the Step-wife. 2 weeks ago we found out she was diagnosed with breast cancer, I am crying my eyes out, I rushed with my husband to take her to the doctor & the Ex showed up – it sucked. I gave her a grandchild too damnit! Anyways, I have always pushed my husband to give her flowers, I brought her flowers/gifts etc. not once in 7 years has she remembered my birthday – but she remembers the ex’s & takes her out to dinner. bitch. I get the crappy 99cents store shit for christmas, the ex & everyone else gets more expensive stuff. w h a t e v e r!
    * 3 I really like the saucy card idea – that’s hot. husband would really get pissed off I am sure. I would have to show him my comment here to explain. If I could have more kids (tubal prevents) I would totally name them after you – cause my dear you are a rockstar!

    ok now I shall beg – pick me pick me.

  31. I don’t think my husband has ever, even once, given me flowers. Let me think… NOPE! NEVER. Not even the “last minute bunch from the back of the case that everyone else rejected because it was already turning brown.” And my coworker gets flowers from HER husband nearly every week for no reason at all. *sigh*

  32. Much as I would LOVE to get flowers from you at work, the bf might get a little upset by that ;) I would totally use the gift cards to send flowers to the bf’s mom, or my mom or Grama. :)

  33. 1. I really need some flowers bc… hmm dh never sends them.. Loser! The ONLY time in our 14yrs together that I received flowers from him is for Mother’s day our 3rd yr into marriage.. AND that was totally only cuz he got himself sent to Korea for the year right after I had his second child.. Ok not his fault but STILL ! And besides the fact that he never sends me any.. I could just use some cheering :)
    2. MIL- ok I dont think I qualify here. I do not have a MIL.. welllll, I have one but not.. DH hasn’t seen his mom since he was 13ish, she didn’t come to our wedding, has never met me or any of her grandchildren.. So I guess I have the ideal MIL/DIL relationship- none !
    3. m’kay, so I dont work outside the house.. But you can totally send me flowers here with a saucy note & I’ll be sure to *accidentally* forget to remove the note so that Dh can see it and wonder.. He’s always teasing me about that boyfriend.. heheee..

  34. Um, I actually need to send my HUSBAND flowers. Because he’s the good one that remembers things like birthdays and anniversaries, and I’m the one that’s all, “Crap! It’s Valentines!” and then I buy some lame piece of crap from the guy that’s selling junk out of the back of his pick up truck on the corner… Yeah, I’m thoughtful like that.

  35. Plus the nicest thing I ever did for my MIL was move far far away. And I can specifically recall NOT spitting in her face the last time I wanted to.

  36. My husband doesn’t buy me flowers often, but that makes it all the better when he does. I got fantastic ones this year for our anniversary — a huge, tall bouquet of autumn colored ones that Daughter spent a week pointing to and saying “Daddy get does fow-wers for Mama!” He also bought me some on the day that a press actually asked to read my book manuscript, with a card to tell me he was proud of me. So I don’t deserve to win this. BUT, if random number generator picks me, I will TOTALLY use my $$ to send some flowers to someone who NEVER gets flowers from her spouse. Yes, a really deserving someone. And I might even let you help me decide who that someone should be… *wink*

  37. Alright, I’ve gotta get in on this. Two boyfriends, 11 years between the two relationships. Flowers three times. Two were for prom and one was for Valentine’s Day and all three were picked out by their respective mothers. Apparently, I don’t deserve flowers from anyone but potential MILs, but my bf does for her bday in a few weeks, from someone other than her boyfriend who is very hot, but will probably get her a pair of Chucks or something otherwise girl-like.

  38. I don’t currently have a mother-in-law and hate the one I had so that’s out. However, with starting a new job, getting enrolled for my third round of college, and being told that my oldest most likely has an autoimmune disease and is being referred to a rheumatologist (for which we will most likely have to drive 4 hours to see) to confirm the tentative diagnosis, I could totally justify sending myself flowers.

  39. Meredith

    I would totally send my freebie flowers to MY MIL. She’s having surgery on both of her knees in January after just having to put her mother in a nursing home. She’s having a rough time and it would cheer her up.

  40. I wouldn’t send flowers to my MIL in a million years, but she should TOTALLY send them to me, because not only did I follow the cultural standard of India by delivering her first a grandson, but now I’m satisfying her urge for a girl (she has only boys, and she used to dress them in dresses for photos, because she’s freaky that way) with her second grandchild. (Oh, my 20-year-old niece? She doesn’t count, according to my MIL.) So, anyway, I deserve them, not her, and I think it would be best if you sent them to me, since you’re my one-and-only girl crush.

    That you know of.

    Was that a winning entry? Because I’m new to this giveaway thing.

  41. I deserve flowers like whoa because:

    1) My birthday is the day after Valentine’s Day, so every year on my birthday, at least one person gets me a bunch of sad-ass half-wilted red roses that are very clearly from a 75% off post-Valentine’s Day fire sale. These are the only flowers I ever get, since my husband has the same kind of track record for sending flowers that yours does.

    2) My mother-in-law was uniformly and unrelentingly awful to me right up until I had kids, and I put up with it in the name of my husband’s peace (though, note: he told her off on my behalf many, many times, which is why I lub him so). The first time my MIL met me, she told my husband (then-boyfriend) regretfully, “Well, she’s just not what I had in mind for you…” When I would visit her house, she would write up a list of the things I did wrong and email them to my husband afterward. I swear this on a stack of Bibles. When my friend was ushering her to her seat at my wedding, she spent the whole trip up the aisle talking a steady stream of smack about me under her breath. In the wedding pictures, she looks like she’s in front of a firing squad. And you know what? I kept being nice to her. It damn near killed me, but I kept being nice to her, and she finally came around, and now we have a good relationship. This year, I’m even hand-knitting a sweater for her that I designed myself, and I’ll give it to her with a smile on Christmas morning. So yes, please send me flowers because I damn well deserve them after dealing with that woman for 10. whole. years.

  42. It’s simple. It’s me who deserves the flowers. Why?
    Because (although he is, of course, perfect in every other way) my husband has never bought me flowers. Ever.
    He did bring me flowers once. He fished them out of the trash can at work because they “still had some life left in them”.

  43. Cuz_I'm_The_Mom

    I had almost decided to send myself flowers already this year because this is my first Thanksgiving without my Mom. She passed away in February. Mom always cooks the turkey and brings it to my house along with a beautiful floral centerpiece for my Thanksgiving table. I would roll my eyes about the centerpiece and get a bit defensive at my Mom’s futile attempt to transform me into the Martha Stewart of South Texas. Oftentimes she’d let it pass. Sometimes it would turn into a wee argument. You see, I’m SO not a centerpiece kind of gal. I’m more of a let’s-unbutton-our-britches-and-go-watch-tons-of-football-breaking-only-for-pie kind of gal.
    Last Sunday, I had a complete crying jag complete with bloodshot eyes, copious snot, and honking of the nose because I have to cook the turkey this year. My sister dropped off the “official” Turkey Pan from wherever she’s been hiding it since we cleaned out Mom’s house and moved my Dad. Picture me going from the “oh, yeah, I guess that’s right” face to the “no way I can pull this off” face to the “it sucks that I have to live in a world without my momma” face. Thus began the aforementioned crying jag.

    I’m going to have to eat dry-ass turkey and stare at the unadorned center of my table and miss my mom. I want some fucking flowers.

  44. Amanda

    I don’t need flowers. (Fuckin’, YEAH I do, but more than that:) I need you to give someone else flowers FOR me.

    Yasee, I work for a police department. My boyfriend, one of our officers, was injured in the line of duty about a week ago. (In foot pursuit of a bad guy, managed to fall badly and break his femur. Snapped that little bastard like a twig, just destroyed it.) He’s been in the hospital since the incident and it hasn’t gone well. There were some very scary times: bad reaction to the morphine, heart issues, lung issues, ICU time, unimaginable agony… Eh.

    Anyway, the staff here at the PD has been INCREDIBLE. The officers have kept up a pretty steady rotation through his hospital room, keeping him company and making sure he’s alright, and the office staff has been doing the same. There is hardly a moment, day or night, that he is alone in his room. Also, the place is full-to-bursting with flowers and arangements. (No shit. Like, there’s hardly anywhere to sit. You can’t get away from the flowers or, oh my god, the BALLOONS.) I’ve been there almost every waking moment when I’m not at work (10-12 hour shifts at the PD) and I’ve seen how incredible these people are and how much they care. It makes my heart ache. He was in some very dark places there for a while, and opening his eyes to see people all around him has been SO helpful.

    It’d be nice for THEM to get some flowers. They deserve it.

  45. I need to send myself flowers so that my hubby’s ears perk up, and he sees said beautiful flowers, and would be all like, “Oh. You got flowers. Who sent you flowers?” And I’d be all like, “None of your business. Not from YOU.” And he’d be all like, “You sent them to yourself, didn’t you?” And I wouldn’t answer, just walk away, and he’d get all anxious going, “Didn’t you?!?” And then he’d go finish the fahking work on the front porch that he promised would be done before the first frost (which, in WI was about a month and a half ago).

    Thanks for the great giveaway!

  46. I hope I’m allowed to enter twice…..

    I would like flowers to be sent to my wife in celebration of her recently attained National Board Certification for teachers! It’s hard to do, and she did it while pregnant (first round) and with a toddler (second round)!!

  47. Jenny

    I hate flowers! Am I really the only one? My husband brought me a bouquet once and I lost my mind on him. I feel like it requires no thought or attention to who I really am. It seems too easy.

    If I won the flowers, I would stand on a street corner and sell them, then use the money for some sushi.

  48. I don’t know if you have any of these to give out still…but here it goes.

    My husband and I met when I was eight. I (oops) got pregnant when I was 15. We kept him, got married when he was almost two (because we did NOT want a shotgun wedding!), had our second baby, then he joined the Air Force. We were stationed in Germany (which rocked besides when he had to deploy), and are now at a shitty base in NE. He is a fabulous husband, more than I could ever dream of, but has only gotten me flowers two or three times (probably because we don’t have the money to buy them in the first place!!!). Our 8th wedding anniversary is in a week and a half…and he won’t be here.

    Its just me, the two kids, two dogs, and my school work! Wait…I’m on a little break right now! Score one for me!

  49. I haven’t had sex in almost three weeks and I have no idea when my husband will be home.

    I need me some flowers.

    Plus, I’m freaking adorably pleasant to my mother-in-law who likes to routinely point out that I’m a heathen who will burn in the fiery pits of hell and will likely be the reason her son won’t be walking through the Pearly Gates of heaven one day.

    Cuz I’m a dirty girl who has corrupted her innocent baby boy.

    I figure it’s better to kill your enemy with kindness. It drives her bat shit crazy.

  50. Pingback: Karmic Retribution

  51. It is good to see you verbalise from the heart and your clarity on this important subject can be easily observed.It is really great information.

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